Around the world - funny jokes

Around the world - funny jokes

A good laugh or a good cry lover's greatest resource is one of the Reader's Digest. Recently, the world's best magazine (and I say I'm at least on these pages before) set out to find the world's funniest joke, requiring readers to send their favorite. "Reader's Digest" received a lot, and then ask readers to vote for the best. Some of their jokes make you guffaw, some people will leave you confused (this is your cultural divide), and others will look familiar (this is your Internet). The world's funniest joke, voted by readers from Sweden. Laugh at it and continue to smile runner.

Sweden

In hunting trip to visit the countryside, well-dressed man from Stockholm to aim and shoot ducks. But birds falling into farmers' fields, farmers claim it. Because both want it, the farmers suggested resolving disputes with an old-fashioned rustic kick. "I tried hard to kick you, because I can be in your middle, then you do the same for me," he said. "Who screams at least get the bird." City people agree. So farmers winding provides a devastating blow to a man in the middle, and he crashes to the ground. Twenty minutes later, when he finally stood, he gasped, "It's my turn." "No," the farmer said, and turned to leave. "You can put a duck."

AMERICA

Two hunters in the woods, when one of the crash. He was not breathing, his eyes glazed. Others took out his cell phone and call 911. "I think my friend is dead!" He yells. "What can I do about it?" The operator says, "Calm down, first of all, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now how to do?"

Czech Republic

A man calls a radio show announcer says, "I found a wallet one hundred thousand crowns [Czech] there is also a card that says" January Ziegler, Seifert Street 3, Prague. "So?" Program announcer asked. "You want us to do?" Play to people's a song, you would be so kind? "

Finland

Hannu wants everything perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel, where he and his wife 30 years ago honeymoon. So he got there a day early to make all the arrangements. That night, he her, but misspelled email address go to the nearest widow. The next day, the widow's son, and his mother found her passed out in front of the computer. E-mail on the screen: "My dear wife, I just got here, everything is set for your arrival tomorrow, I hope your trip down here will be as happy as I am." PS really hot! "

Mexico

Indians asked their new chief winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the way his ancestors, he told them firewood, and then he goes out and calls the National Weather Service. "Winter is bad?" He asked. "It seems," is the answer. Therefore, the person in charge told him to gather more firewood. A week later, he again called. "You must be very cold in the winter do?" "Of course!" The official told his people to gather even more firewood, and then call the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?" "I tell you, this will be the coldest winter on record. "" how do you know? "" Because Indian firewood like crazy! "

Philippines

Joe, Mike, Mary and Tom are talking about their dream job. "I want to be a lawyer," Joe began, "so I can protect my countrymen." "I want to become a congressman," said Mike, "so I can draft laws to the benefit of my countrymen." " I want to be a doctor, "Mary said," so I can cure my countrymen. "" how are you, Tom? What would you like to do? "Joe asked. Tom thought for a moment and replied: "I want to be a redneck."

Portugal

When people visit an old friend, a little girl doing room. "Diploma" friends phone, she said, "brought us two cups of coffee." "Diploma What a strange name, said:" tourists. "She how it?" Friend sighed. "I send my daughter studying in the University of Lisbon, this is what she brought back."

Slovenia

When they left the court, lawyers become his grim-looking client, and said, "Janez, what is wrong? You have been acquitted." "I know, but now I'm really in trouble, says : "Janez. "I just rented a three-year, my apartment."

Germany

Wandering around an open-air market, a man entered the fortune-teller's tent, one will laugh. "I see you are a father of two, said:" The seer, and looked into her crystal ball. "Ha! Is this what you're thinking, said:" The man said contemptuously. "I am a father of three children." "Ha!" Fortune teller said. "It was your idea."

Hungary

Doctor: you take my advice, sleep window open?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: What do your asthma completely disappear?

Patient: No, but my watch, TV, iPod, and laptops.

India

A corporate executives visit his dear Chinese friends at the hospital. "Kai Yang Qi Guan, feebly said:" The people who are sick. Executive desperately wanted to help him, but he does not speak Mandarin. "Likai Yang gas off!" The patient said, he used his last breath. Later that year, the Executive is a business trip in Shanghai, he finally learned Likai Yang gas related meanings: "Get off my oxygen tube."

Romania

Vlad is driven low after the high-speed car chase. "I want to help you, said:" The police. "Give me a good excuse, I will not write you a ticket." "Three weeks ago, my wife left me a cop," Vlad explains. "So when I saw your car coming, I think you're trying to bring her back."

Serbia

A neighbor found a little boy sitting on the stairs crying. "What is it, dear?" She asked him. "This is my father," the boy sobbed. "He hit him with a hammer finger." "Then why are you crying?" "Because I was laughing!"

Switzerland

Wife: Honey, have you noticed it? I bought a new toilet brush. Husband: Yes, I did. But I still prefer paper.

Spain

Every ten years, the monks in the monastery were allowed to break their vow of silence, say a few words. 10-year-old to go, it is a monk first opportunity. In his view, before a second, "said the food is not good." Ten years later, he said, "Bed hard." This is the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare, said: "I quit." "I'm not surprised," said head monk. "You've been complaining ever since you came here."

France

Sarkozy's visit to a steel mill. The boss's expectations, the president greeted employees, Morton, a warm embrace. The same thing happened in the United States President Barack Obama's visit, and again in Putin's tour. Unmoved, boss Morton said, "I bet you did not know the Pope." Morton shrugged. "We play golf together." Gauntlet has been thrown, the boss their way to the Vatican. In the blessing, Morton slip away. Sure enough, he appears again side with the pope. Two Chinese tourists tap the boss on the shoulder, and asked: "Who is the white guy standing in Morton do?"